The White Cliffs Experience

The white cliffs of Dover is also an amazing sight to behold. It was the peak of summer last year and we spent the afternoon walking around the white cliffs.

At some point in the late afternoon, we walked back to catch our return coach. We took a different route than when we arrived, thinking that it will lead us back to the city center. After some time, the way turned narrow and became a footpath. Progressing further, it was a dead end.
Turning back would mean missing the coach. The alternative way through, however, was a main road located 5 metres right above us.

Standing in between us and the main road was a rocky cliff. Below us there were more cliffs. Somehow through the mix of recklessness and sense of adventure, we decided to climb to the main road. Marc had climbing experience, but we did not have the proper gear then. Halfway through, I felt regret as climbing was not as easy as I thought. Marc, however stayed calm behind me. His position was more difficult because he had to arch his body more to cover me. If I were to fall, both of us would fall.

Midway we reached a position where it wasn't easy to go either up nor down. We were stuck there for what seemed to be a very long time. We just had to go through upwards. Finally, we managed to get to the main road. A sense of relief came. This is one of the things that I wouldn't think of doing again. Looking back, I think I owed a life to a friend.

Mirror for the Soul

I remember going to a retreat about around this time last year. It was a part of a Christian living program in my previous church. I attended for two reasons. First, I thought that if I wanted to serve I should follow the foundation class of that church first. Another thing that prompted me was that I felt that my spiritual life was rather dry at that time. I regularly attended church, but the desire for God was just not there.

The retreat went as usual. Solid teaching. Great food. At some point, I felt that God revealed something in my heart that blocked me from seeking Him. It was bitterness. Bitterness towards God. I was surprised. I never thought of that.

As tears flowed down my cheek, my hand wrote down what I felt, almost without thinking. I resented God that He did not seem to care about certain areas of my life. Things that I felt I prayed hard enough but did not seem to have any answer. That made me think that if God did not help me I would take my life into my own hands and I didn't need God. That also lead to subconscious thought that reading the bible and prayer was useless, so it's very difficult to do them. Of course my mind disagreed with all these but my heart somehow believed.

It's only several months later that healing took place and I found the desire for God again but that's another story. However, this revelation showed me what my heart was really like. It's amazing how subtle issues, such as bitterness, could take root in the heart and easily choke our life.

Count My Blessings

It's been a while since I have written. Many things have happened since my last post.

I've gotten used to my job as a software engineer. I am privileged to work in an area that I very much enjoy. Not to mention that I get good manager and colleagues who are very supportive.

I've moved to another church earlier this year. The church helped me to grow, gave me a sense of family and accountability and also empowered me to serve.

I've got the chance to learn from past relationship, even when it was not meant to be. This has revealed my weaknesses and the extent of God's grace for me.

I've got to know some good friends, and even when some people inevitably come and go, their traces remain in my life.

For these I give thanks to God. And for many more to come.